Why We Can’t Stay Focused During Sex, and Why It Matters
By adminFebruary 22, 2021
The idea of your mind wandering away during sex is puzzling. You spent your day working out a productive life, came home to your partner and after the evening dinner; you both settled in bed for the moment you’ve been craving the entire day.
Your mind departs from your body and the next thing in your brain are your boss’ fixed deadlines, at
trending social media post about sexuality and so on.
However, research also suggests that people tend to get distracted from sex not by external concerns such as deadlines but by negative performance thoughts.
Such distractions have been proven to induce less sexual satisfaction and orgasm failure.
But don’t you find it quite interesting that during your productive day, your mind might have fantasized about sex? Thoughts of sex and engaging in the act might have caused you some level of distraction. Isn’t it perplexing how you think of sex during non-sexual situations and fail to think about sex during actual sex?
Well, it turns out negative thoughts are the main causes of sexual distraction. You relish the moment before engaging in the act; but once in the act, fears, doubts and performance anxiety of not being to satisfy your partner crop up. These negative thoughts play a key role in producing guilt, anxiety, depression, reducing sexual arousal and depriving partners of sexual pleasure.
The issue of sexual distraction is however common among women compared to men. Meanwhile, studies reveal the majority of women seeking professional help for the issue thought they weren’t attracted enough to their partners. But it’s important to look at other distraction statistics beyond sex before concluding the laws of attraction. Right?
Mental Distractions are a Normal Part of Life
People get distracted all the time. Going about our day to day activities, we encounter social media, rants with friends, mobile phone notifications e.t.c. Therefore, people have already conditioned their minds to distractions and multitasking.
And getting your mind out of that box demands some mindfulness on your part. This is because sex demands focus, your entire body to be focused on intimacy, your body and soul.
Discussions around sexual distractions are crucial because they might cause relationship problems when ignored. For example, the majority of couples might think they are not having enough good sex. And this could be frustrating to their partners.
But partners facing this challenge have to admit the possibility of being distracted even in the most pleasurable of things.
We also get distracted from good sleep and this deprives us of healthy night sleep;
But does this mean we aren’t having enough good sleep during other days. Distractions are a normal aspect of life, but the best way forward to solving the problem is by seeking sex education.
Sex education will help you dispel most misconceptions associated with sex. You will also learn about your cognitive response to activities of pleasure and identify with ways of remaining focused during sexual activity. Clinical professionals will also ask you to practice mindfulness in exploring a healthy mental life and focusing your energy on the present moment.